Separation, Divorce, & Remarriage
PROJECT • As a succinct position on Scripture’s teaching regarding separation, divorce, and remarriage after divorce, this statement presents biblical mandates, accountability protocols, and pastoral advice for both individuals and church leadership.
Read time: 8 min
The following position statement on separation, divorce, and remarriage reflects my understanding of a faithful synthesis of the complex biblical data on these issues. I wrote this position some years ago. Since then, my fellow elders at Sacred Mission Church have worked to add nuance and clarification where needed, resulting in the final form below.
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1. God designed marriage to display the covenant faithfulness of Christ and his Church.
From the beginning, God designed monogamous, heterosexual marriage to last a lifetime (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:6; Rom. 7:2). Human marriages are meant to picture the covenant love and commitment of Jesus Christ to his bride, the church, and her singular devotion to him (Eph. 5:25–33). Marriages impacted by sin are worth every effort to save. Where there is continued faith in the gospel and repentance from sin, no marriage is without hope of restoration.
2. Even when divorce is biblically permissible, repentance and restoration are preferred.
As an aberration from God’s good design for life-long marriage, divorce is a tragic concession to unrepentant human “hardness of heart” (Matt. 19:8). Although God himself divorced Israel because of her unrepentant, adulterous idolatry (Jer. 3:8), he declares, “I hate divorce” (Mal. 2:14–16). Even biblically justified divorce is always a matter of great sorrow. Repentance and restoration of the offending spouse(s) to marital fidelity is the normative redemptive goal (Eph. 4:32; Jam. 5:19–20; cf. Matt. 19:8).
3. Scripture presents two grounds for biblically-permissible divorce.
There are two categories of biblical grounds for divorce. The first, as given by Jesus, involves sexual immorality (porneia: Matt. 5:32; 19:9). The second, as taught by Paul, involves an unbelieving spouse abandoning or divorcing a believing spouse (1 Cor. 7:15–16). In the event of any church member seeking the allowance of the church to file for divorce, the elders must first determine that the situation can in “no way be remedied by the Church.”[1]
4. Separation between believers, because of severe conflict, should resolve through counseling and reconciliation, but not by unbiblical divorce.
Two Christian spouses finding marriage unbearably disharmonious may separate but should seek counseling and reconciliation. They should neither divorce nor remarry, in that they lack biblical grounds for divorce (1 Cor. 7:10–11). Relief, repentance, and reconciliation should be the goal of separation. Divorce due to unhappiness in marriage, or the desire to remarry a seemingly better spouse, fall tragically short of biblical warrant and God’s intention for marriage. Such a divorce is itself adulterous (Matt. 19:9).
5. The marriage covenant is soluble by (1) death and (2) biblical divorce.
Some Christians maintain that marriage is an unbreakable covenant sundered only by death (citing Matt. 19:6 and Rom. 7:1–3).[2] We rather understand Matthew 9:6 to establish both the solubility of marriage and the sinfulness of unbiblical divorce.[3] An insolubility view conflates God’s design for marriage’s permanence with de facto permanence itself, while also inconsistently (but rightly) upholding the solubility of marriage at death. Consequently, an insolubility view unjustly seeks to bind believers (via Rom. 7:2) where Scripture explicitly says one is no longer “enslaved” (1 Cor. 7:15). It is undisputed that the marriage covenant is soluble by the death of a spouse (Rom. 7:1–3; 1 Cor. 7:39). However, we understand both Jesus’ Exception Clause (Matt. 19:9 ) and the Pauline Privilege (i.e. “no longer enslaved” language) to affirm that the covenant-vow-breaking actions involved in a divorce may dissolve a marriage union.
6. Except where there are grounds for divorce, believers must remain committed in marriages with unbelieving spouses.
A believer is under no compulsion to divorce their unbelieving spouse and should continue in an unequally-yoked marriage, as it is sanctified by God and covenantally binding (1 Cor. 7:12–14, 27; Col. 3:18–19). By prayer and by speaking and modeling the gospel, a believer should seek the physical and spiritual well-being and salvation of their unbelieving spouse (1 Pet. 3:1).
7. The “innocent” spouse of a biblical divorce is free to remarry.
The dissolution of a marriage by death (Rom. 7:3) or biblical divorce grants the ‘innocent spouse’ the freedom to remarry, in that such “is not enslaved” (Deut. 24:1; Matt. 19:6–9; 1 Cor. 7:15); only let them remarry a fellow believer in Christ (1 Cor. 7:15; cf. 1 Cor. 7:39; see also 1 Tim. 5:11–14).
8. Initiating a divorce without biblical grounds is sufficient reason for church discipline.
The spouse that divorces the other without biblical grounds commits adultery by remarrying (Matt. 19:9). Matthew 5:32 should be understood in its larger context: sexual infidelity is grounds for divorce while lesser grounds (i.e. the Shamai-Hallel debate at hand) are not sufficient grounds and result in adultery for either spouse that remarries. A church member who initiates and carries out an unbiblical divorce may come under church discipline (1 Cor. 5:1–2, 5; cf. Matt. 19:6).
9. Divorcees should seek church counsel and accountability.
A church member experiencing separation or divorce on biblical grounds is exhorted to earnestly seek biblical counsel and accountability among the elders and within the church body. Transparency may work to save or restore the marriage. Additionally, transparency provides insight to the church that is necessary for the maintenance of a divorcee’s Christian testimony.
10. The church embraces the repentant, including those with past unbiblical divorces.
The gospel of grace is for those who confess and repent of their sins. The church is a body of repentant believers redeemed by the blood of Christ. Believers culpable of past, unbiblical divorce, having acknowledged their sin and manifested fruits of genuine contrition, may be considered for membership or reinstatement (Gal. 6:1; 2 Cor. 2:6–11). Forgiveness and restoration to the fellowship of those called to be saints is the purpose of church discipline and is the joy of a church and its leaders.
11. Persons who have been biblically divorced and remarried may hold church office.
We understand the biblical qualification that officers must be “the husband of one wife” (1 Tim. 3:2, 12) to affirm that elders and deacons must be faithful to their own spouses. Former widows(ers) or biblically divorced persons may qualify for holding church office. ❖
Footnotes
The Westminster Confession of Faith (1646), 24.5–6: “5. Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, gives just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce and, after the divorce, to marry another, as if the offending party were dead. 6. Although the corruption of man be such as is apt to study arguments unduly to put asunder those whom God has joined together in marriage: yet, nothing but adultery, or such wilful desertion as can no way be remedied by the Church, or civil magistrate, is cause sufficient of dissolving the bond of marriage: wherein, a public and orderly course of proceeding is to be observed; and the persons concerned in it not left to their own wills, and discretion, in their own case.”
Romans 7:1–3 is a key passage often interpreted to mean that as long as a spouse is alive, divorce and remarriage are never permissible. Insightfully, theologian Karl Westerlund challenges this interpretation, arguing that Romans 7 is not about divorce at all but rather an analogy. The passage's context, according to Paul, indicates that under the law, believers are bound until death. In marriage, if a spouse dies, the surviving partner is free to remarry without being an adulterer. Paul uses this truth to illustrate how, through Christ, believers die to the law and are no longer bound by it. Thus, Romans 7:1–3 is not a direct teaching on marriage but simply uses the marriage-severing death of a spouse as an analogy to illustrate our freedom through Christ from the law’s condemnation.
Jesus did not say that what God has joined together “no man can separate" but rather "let not man separate" (μὴ χωριζέτω). Jesus used a hortatory subjunctive not an indicative verb, which functions as a command, not a statement of fact. The mere fact that he exhorts and commands to not separate what God has united establishes the fact that marriage bonds can be sundered—for example, based on the context—by porneia and the resultant biblically-permissible divorce (Matt. 19:9).
Quote this Project
Footnote: Timothy J. Harris, “Separation, Divorce, & Remarriage,” Practical Theologian, February 5, 2025, https://www.practicaltheologian.com/blog/paper-g8plw-mrbcp.
Bibliography: Harris, Timothy J. “Separation, Divorce, & Remarriage.” Practical Theologian, February 5, 2025. https://www.practicaltheologian.com/blog/paper-g8plw-mrbcp.
Recommended Resources
Andreas J. Kostenberger and David W. Jones, God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundations, Wheaten, IL: Crossway (2004), 227–58.
D.A. Carson, “Divorce: A Concise Biblical Analysis,” Northwest Journal of Theology 4 (1975): 43–59.
Wayne Grudem, (2021) What the Bible Says about Divorce and Remarriage (Crossway, 2021). Exported from Logos Bible Software, December 10, 2023.
John Murray, “Divorce,” Westminster Theological Journal (pp.31–191).
C.S. Keener, (2012). ...And Marries Another: Divorce and Remarriage in the Teaching of the New Testament (Baker Academic, 2012). Exported from Logos Bible Software, December 10, 2023.
Mike Winger, “Divorce and Remarriage: Everything the Bible Says about It.” This is an accessible exploration of three common Christian views on the subject (YouTube; podcasts part 1, part 2).
