Counseling a Husband Exhibiting Avoidant Attachment Disorder
PAPER • Attachment theory and its related attachment style paradigms may be of benefit in describing unhealthy relational patterns in marriage, but Scripture diagnoses and treats the root causes of so-called ‘avoidant attachment style.’
Read time: 54 min
Abstract
What weight should biblical counselors give to attachment theory? How should one counsel a spouse with apparent attachment problems? This research paper will answer these questions from the vantage point of how a biblical counselor may approach helping a husband exhibiting avoidant attachment style.
I argue that attachment theory and its related attachment style paradigms may be of benefit in describing relational patterns in marriage, but Scripture more fully diagnoses and treats the causes and symptoms of avoidant attachment style. In section one, I provide a brief history of the psychological theories of insecure attachment and adult attachment styles, with a description of avoidant attachment style, commonly prescribed treatments, and a survey of historical and current critiques of attachment theory and therapies. In section two, I reframe a husband’s avoidant attachment style theologically and biblically, viewing unhealthy relational patterns in light of the doctrines of the fall, indwelling sin, and sanctification. Expositing Ephesians 5:25–30, I further contrast a husband’s avoidant behavior with Christ’s perfect example and God’s vision for husbands, offering practical considerations for biblical counselors. ❖
